Note: This is a guest post from Abbey of Danes Down Under. Abbey is a social worker in the drug and alcohol management industry. She has clinical depression (also known as unipolar or major depression) and owns two great danes and one Maltese.
Clinical depression is a serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Individuals with clinical depression are unable to function as they used to.
Clinical depression is not the same as feeling sad or depressed for a few days and then feeling better. It can affect your body, mood, thoughts and behavior. It can change your eating habits, how you feel and think, your ability to work and study and how you interact with people.
Depression is manageable but a dog and her owner struggle during a depressive episode without the help of others. It’s something we need to recognize more and offer to help our family and friends.
Dogs do not cure depression
This article is not about therapy dogs or trying to help people with depression by suggesting they get a dog to cheer them up or to “snap them out of it.”
However well meaning family and friends may be with this suggestion, it is the last thing to do. In the depth of depression, people struggle to look after themselves, let alone their animals.
The added responsibility of a new dog may be too overwhelming. Wait till the depression is stabilized before you even think of a dog.
If you feel a friend will benefit from the company of a dog, offer to take yours to her for a set period, invite her on a walk or to join you in the park with your dog.
Caring for your dog when you are depressed
Below are some tips for dog owners dealing with depression. These tips will ensure the dogs are well cared for during a depressive episode and may also be helpful for family member and friends of someone dealing with depression.
Most people with depression are well tuned to their bodies and have developed signals within themselves to know when they are “sliding.” They need to put strategies in place to care for their dog before this occurs.
This is a management plan I have developed over time to suit my lifestyle:
1. Keep enough dog food on hand.
Ensure you house is well stocked with the food your dog normally eats. If you usually buy one bag of kibble, buy three.
2. Keep a note on the fridge.
Put a big note on the fridge that says how much the dogs eat on a normal day. Then write, “Have I fed the dogs today?” and “Check water.” If you have a notebook for notes about the dogs, put on the note “Check dog book.”
3. Give a key to a trusted friend or family member.
This is important if you isolate yourself, sleep during the day or become forgetful during an episode.
4. Have the friend check on the dogs daily.
This could be as simple as communicating through writing in a notebook kept on the kitchen table. For example, “Monday morning: Fed 9 a.m., 5 cups kibble.” If you forget to write it in, it’s better in the short term the dogs get too much rather than nothing.
5. Make sure the dogs have access to the yard.
This isn’t possible for all homes, but it is possible for people with secure fences and gates.
6. Ask your friend to walk the dogs.
If your friend can walk your dogs, ask her to write it in the book. This will save the anxiety of not remembering or knowing if they have been walked.
7. Plan ahead for the dogs’ health care.
If the dogs have medication, record when the medication is given and ask your friend to do the same. Whenever possible, keep the dogs on monthly or long-term tablets or shots instead of daily tablets.
Do as much as possible to make sure that shots and check-ups for the dogs are up to date before you have a depressive episode.
Ensure that your friend’s contact information is on file with the vet and that she has the vet’s number in case of emergencies.
Check that registration is up to date if that is annual.
8. Hire a dog walker.
Hire a dog walker as often as you can afford and pay in advance. Set this up when feeling well, and explain honestly what is going on. Make sure the dog walker has a key and knows where the leashes are for times when you will not come to the door. The dog walker should be cool with this. If not, get another dog walker.
9. Be aware of changes in your dogs.
Dogs seem to react in two ways if their owner is going through a period of depression. Some dogs will follow their owners around, lying down and getting up when they do even if that means sleeping for 20 or more hours.
Other dogs will become destructive when they normally aren’t. They may tear pillows, or chew furniture. Ensure their access to empty rooms is limited.
10. Care for the dogs yourself when you are feeling better.
As you begin to come out of an episode, use your dogs to help you. Set simple, achievable, daily goals, such as “I will sit in the sun on the patio for a half-hour with the dogs,” or “I will take the dogs to the backyard and throw the ball for 20 minutes.”
Walk with your friend and the dogs in short spurts till your confidence, physical and mental strength return. Then take over the dog care when you are able.
How to help a depressed friend with dog care
1. Don’t make the decisions.
Don’t take over in making decisions about the dog or his routine. The person with depression may already be feeling a loss of control. Always consult the dog’s owner, as it is his dog, not yours. It may seem the person is indifferent or does not care for themselves or dogs. This is not the case. That is the depression, not the person.
2. Make sure your friend has your phone number and address.
You should also have your friend’s hospital and doctors’ numbers. Many people store numbers in their mobiles, but lose this and you’ve lost your contact details, so write them down.
3. Know where the dogs’ veterinary information is kept.
4. Leave positive notes.
If you share a notebook for communication about the dogs, leave notes such as “Great that you fed the dogs!” or even “Thinking of you.”
5. Don’t be condescending or judgmental.
Treat and talk to the person as you normally would. Be honest, and set certain boundaries before an episode of depression such as when to enter rooms, always knock, etc.
6. Prior to any arrangement have open communication.
Take time to talk about expectations of both sides, boundaries, do’s and don’ts. Don’t promise something you can’t deliver such as walking dogs on the weekend if that is your family time. Helping your friend is not an easy task to take on and can be draining. Your own emotional health and family should have priority.
7. Leave the friend alone when he or she wants to be alone.
Give a cue to let the person know you are in the house, but leave your friend alone if he is sleeping or isolating himself. If suicide is a possibility, just pop your head in the room to check on him. Set this term in the above discussion.
With approximately 1.5 in 10 having chronic depression, everyone will at some time be affected by depression – their own or someone else’s. Planning ahead helps reduce the impact on the individuals and their family members.
Two-way communication is needed between you and the person you are caring for to come up with a plan that works. Dogs are a brilliant thing to have in anyone’s life, but their health and safety is paramount. They can’t look after themselves.
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Great post, very comprehensive! Yeah, people often believe that an animal will cure depression. If only that were true – there are so many that suffer from depression and so many animals that need homes.
Yeah. People don’t think about how much added responsibility a pet is. They only think about how the pet will make someone feel better – which it would, at least temporarily. No one can argue with that!
Great article Abbey! My husband has dealt with serious depression, but before he ever had pets. I’ve never thought about how this might affect the health and well-being of pets! Your suggestions are great – and really made me think! Thanks for writing it Abbey – and Lindsay for sharing it!
Reading your article reminded me of a funny bit of prose I read in the book, Cracked Teacups by B.E. Moore. In it, the author shares humourous insite into people and pets as well as a piece, also funny, on how to choose a pet. You all should read it. It’s great.
Tammy, there’s a lot that I never thought of before as well.
With the economy in recession, job loss, unemployment etc depression is something we will see more & more in family members & friends It is also leading to an increase in animals being surrendered to resuce organisations. Looking after the family pet is one area that is easily managed with support.
I didnt mean for owning a dog and mental health as being overwhelming but it is an extra consideration when purchasing a pet but definitely doable
Thanks for all the comments on this issue.
You are right. Tons of animals are being surrendered because of job losses, unemployment, etc. I hope more people will volunteer to help friends and family members with dog care and I hope those who need help will not be afraid to ask.
Thanks for writing this post!
Great post, very comprehensive! Yeah, people often believe that an animal will cure depression. If only that were true – there are so many that suffer from depression and so many animals that need homes.