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Dog separation anxiety
It’s sometimes impossible to live with a dog that has “separation anxiety.” A loud or destructive dog creates stress for everyone in the house, costs extra money and ruins good relationships with neighbors.
Well-meaning dog lovers aren’t always aware of a dog’s anxiety issues before adopting or fostering, and this can lead to big problems, especially in an apartment setting. I know what a difficult choice it is to return a dog, especially for a dog lover who doesn’t want to “give up on the dog.” But sometimes there is no other option. Sometimes you have to put yourself and your family before a dog.
Almost every dog I’ve fostered has had some form of “separation anxiety,” and I’m not talking about a bit of crying as the dog adjusts to her new environment.
What is separation anxiety in dogs?
I consider a dog to have separation anxiety if she has never been properly conditioned to being left alone and therefore goes into a frantic state of mind when her owner leaves the house.
There are a lot of loose definitions for separation anxiety, and people are too quick to say a dog has it. In most cases the dog hasn’t been given any rules, exercise or a routine so of course she’s going to bark and destroy things when left alone – she’s bored out of her mind and has never been consistently disciplined or exercised!
Another mistake is to say the dog has separation anxiety just because she cries when kenneled. All dogs will naturally need a few days or weeks to adjust to a new environment. And it does take some time for a dog to get used to a kennel. My mutt Ace cried for 20 minutes every time I kenneled him for the first two weeks. This wasn’t separation anxiety. Ace was just learning his new routine and didn’t want to be left out. He’s also a big baby and still does a fair amount of whining in general 
Signs of separation anxiety in dogs
- An unhealthy attachment to her owner, often following him from room to room and sitting as close as possible.
- Leaning into or climbing on her owner for security.
- Crying and scratching at a bedroom, bathroom or office door if she is not allowed inside with her owner.
- Nervousness at the sound of her owner jingling keys, putting on shoes, grabbing his coat, etc.
- Frantic excitement to see her owner when he returns, even if he was gone for one minute to get the mail.
- Destructive behavior when left alone, often chewing or scratching at the door or objects near the door.
- Panicking when kenneled.
- Trying to break out of a kennel to the point of damaging the kennel or injuring herself.
- Drooling, “foaming” at the mouth, panting, “smacking” her lips and pacing as her owner is getting ready to leave and while he is gone.
- Barking, crying, howling or literally shrieking when alone.
- Going to the bathroom in the kennel or on the floor when left alone.
- Ignoring very tempting goodies when left alone.
- Odd, obsessive behaviors such as licking her paws – similar to a person who bites her nails or lip when nervous.
Some dogs will show all of these signs, and some will show a few signs depending on the severity of the dog’s anxiety.
How to help a dog with separation anxiety
The first decision a dog owner must make is whether or not he is up for dealing with a dog that has separation issues. Unfortunately there is no quick fix, and the owner should assume he will be dealing with these issues for several months.
I recently made the difficult choice to return a foster dog because of his anxiety when left alone. The townhome environment I live in is not the place to properly condition a dog that needs months of work. Although it is not easy to return a dog to a rescue or shelter, sometimes there is no other choice. If you are faced with this decision, remember there are always more dogs to adopt that do not have separation anxiety.
Here are some suggestions for helping a dog with separation anxiety:
1. Do not coddle a dog that shows insecurity.
Insecure dogs will lean into their owners in order to feel protected. The dog may also try to climb into her owner’s lap. When my foster dog Levi leaned into me, the best thing I could do for him was to get up and move away. I did not pet him or comfort him or say “It’s OK, Baby.” No.
Levi would also follow me from room to room. I would purposely set up barriers to stretch his comfort zone such as not allowing him to follow me into the bathroom or my bedroom or office.
2. Do not reward excited behavior.
Dogs showing any kind of anxiety or excitement should never be rewarded for it. Instead, they need to learn to chill out. Owners should reward their dogs only when the dogs are calm. A dog that is pacing around the house, panting and whining should not be rewarded. I will often leash a dog and put her in a down-stay position to help her relax.
3. Stick to a routine when leaving.
Dogs learn by repetitions and conditioning, so decide where your dog will stay when you are gone, and stick to it. If she panics when left in the laundry room, she is going to panic when left in the bathroom, bedroom or kennel, so just pick one place and stick to it. Establish your routine for leaving and try to be as consistent as possible every time. Let your dog out, then put her in “her spot” and ignore her for a good 20 minutes while you get ready to leave. Then leave. Don’t say good bye. Don’t talk to her. Don’t even look at her. Completely ignore any crying she does and just go.
4. Adopt a dog at a time when you are able to take a week off from work.
This will help make the adjustment period easier because you can slowly work up to leaving the dog for longer and longer periods rather than “suddenly disappearing” for eight hours.
5. Condition your dog in small steps.
Slowly condition your dog to sounds like picking up your keys and putting on your coat so she eventually learns that these sounds are no big deal. Do this by randomly picking up your keys several times throughout the day without actually leaving. Once your dog is OK with this, progress to putting on your coat or shoes without actually leaving. Next, progress to jiggling the doorknob randomly without actually opening the door. The next steps could be opening the door without leaving, then leaving for 10 seconds, leaving for 30 seconds, opening the car door without actually leaving, etc.
6. Commit to using a kennel.
A destructive dog will cause a lot less damage if she is in a kennel. Most importantly, you will feel less anxious by knowing your dog is safely confined and out of trouble. There’s nothing worse than sitting at work all day or going out Friday night and spending the entire time worried about the dog!
7. Kennel the dog for short periods while you are home.
Even on days you are home, put the dog in her kennel for an hour. This will help her stick to her routine. It will also help her realize that just because she is in her kennel does not mean you are going anywhere.
8. Place a radio in the room, stock the kennel with treats and ignore, ignore, ignore.
The hardest thing to do is ignore the dog when he’s crying or barking. Some people want to scold the dog and some people want to coddle the dog. Yelling at the dog will make her even more anxious, and coddling the dog enforces her thought that there’s something to be worried about. Both yelling at and coddling the dog teach her that if she cries and barks, you will return to her. So as hard as it is, ignore her. Leaving the radio playing on talk radio and providing extra goodies like frozen Kong toys filled with peanut butter will help.
9. Ignore the dog when you return.
This is hard to do, but it is so important not to throw a party every time you come home. Your dog is going to be extremely excited to see you and probably barking, jumping, crying and wiggling. Completely ignore the dog until she settles down. Don’t even look at her for several minutes. Making a big deal out of coming home reinforces that it was OK for the dog to feel anxious while you were away and that everything’s OK now that you are back. It should not be an event when you leave, and it should not be an event when you return.
10. Increase the dog’s exercise.
I offer dog running services to dozens of dogs in the Fargo area, and trust me, a dog that has had enough exercise will have an easier time relaxing. Most dogs with any kind of anxiety have a lot of pent-up energy. A long rollerblading, running or biking session in the morning before work will make a huge difference for the dog. Do not overlook this factor.
11. Apologize to neighbors.
Apologizing for the noise and explaining the situation goes a long way. Explaining that the dog is a “rescue” and still in training also helps. If your neighbors are dealing with a lot of extra noise coming from your house, why not send them a simple gift like a thank-you note or a gift card for their family to go out to dinner somewhere? You want the neighbors to support you, not report you to the police or landlord.
12. Avoid anti-anxiety medication (for the dog).
I realize how tempting it is to use drugs to calm the dog, especially when a veterinarian supports the idea. Vets see all kinds of dogs with different issues, and they know the average person is not going to follow through with training, socializing and exercising a dog. But putting your dog on Prozac or a similar drug is not solving the problem in the long run.
We fail our dogs in so many ways. Dogs develop “issues” because of our mistakes (or someone else’s mistakes), and solving the problem by drugging the dog is not a happy ending. Of course there are cases where drugs are necessary, but these cases are extremely rare. If your vet or trainer suggests drugging your dog, get a second or third opinion and trust your own judgement.
Helping a dog overcome separation anxiety is a long process, but it is well worth it in the end!
What experiences have you had with dogs and separation anxiety?
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All very good methods to use Lindsay! Eli had separation anxiety when I first adopted him, but luckily at the time I had just finished school and didn’t have a job, so I spent about 2-3 weeks on kennel training him. Slowly, we worked towards him not whining when I would leave the apt, and now (a year and a half after getting him) I can leave him out of his kennel all day while I’m at work and he doesn’t make a peep, or chew on anything! I used pretty much all of the tips you listed in your post. The one thing I have noticed, is that he still has some anxiety when I leave him alone somewhere new and he’s not in his kennel. I’m sure it’s because we have not practiced me leaving in that particular place, but that’s something I should work on with him. I think that separation anxiety is very common among adopted/shelter dogs, and with a lot of work it can subside, it just takes a lot of time, and understanding neightbors
Having understanding neighbors is a biggie! A ton of rescue/shelter dogs have some form of separation anxiety and it does take a lot of patience to work on the issues. It is well worth it in the end, though! I’m impressed by how good Eli is in his kennel! Ace is such a baby when he has to stay in his kennel anywhere but at home. Of course, this is my fault for not practicing it more often.
Well, Gus has the worst case of separation anxiety but much of it is fueled by boredom. His breed tends to get bored easily and are destruction machines when they are left alone in the home. He either needs a well-fenced backyard with other dogs to keep him company or daycare. We take him to daycare. He loves them and they love him. We’re quite fortunate that we found such a great location. If we work from home for a few weeks and don’t come in they tell us that they have “Gus withdrawals”. We manage, bloodhounds are high maintenance – period. This is especially true for ours that went through a natural disaster early in his life and was then shuffled around to 5 or more families.
Don’t feel sorry for him now thought – he’s a diva!
Gus is such a lucky boy to have such an understanding mom! I know he loves going to daycare, and I’m glad he’s spoiled and has a good home for the rest of his life.
All very good tips. It is very true that most dogs with separation anxiety have had a rough start in their life.
I foster dogs as well and look for retired, people that work from home or people that can take their dog to work as “adopted parents”
I know it is somewhat a cope out. But I find when the dog is older and already went through so much, finding a home where they are not going to be left alone helps the dog gain confidence and trust faster.
It is a long haul to help a dog with separation anxiety and not everyone is ready, willing or able to do the work and it is OK too.
I know what you mean, and sometimes it does work out for the person to be able to take the dog along most places.
The easiest tip for me was to completely ignore Brick when I was leaving. If I pet him or said goodbye, it seemed to make it worse, so I acted like he wasn’t even there. And when I got home, wouldn’t acknowledge him until he was sitting nicely and quietly.
Giving him a peanut butter-filled Kong on my way out did the trick, too! He forgot all about me leaving and was deeply into getting the pb out.
Yeah that is a good idea, to act as though the dog doesn’t even exist as you are getting ready to leave and leaving. I used to use a lot of Kongs with peanut butter too. To this day, Ace will literally dive into his kennel when told, hoping for some peanut butter.
This is a really great post. I went through this with Emmett, and luckily for us, we had really great neighbors who were patient and kept us informed (“He only howled for 4 hours today! Big improvement!”) The routine thing is so incredibly crucial. Not only does it provide stability, but it basically gears them up to accept the idea that when these things happen, my person leaves, but she always comes back! It’s a challenge, though, to be persistent, consistent, and, above all, patient!
Haha wow! I can’t believe your neighbors were so understanding! That’s really awesome. I don’t even know that I would be that tolerant.
I try to be as patient as possible with my neighbors because I know they put up with my barking foster dogs from time to time!
Yes, you summed it up nicely – the routine provides stability. You were so lucky to have such understanding neighbors. I’m glad Emmett has learned that you will always come back!
Enjoyed reading your insight on dog separation anxiety. I don’t anything about Buddy’s background, but when we adopted him at 9 months of age, he could have cared less if we left him…in fact, it bugged me a little because he acted so indifferent. He has been a part of our family for almost 2 years and when we come home after being gone, he never meets us at the door…he just stays on his bed, wagging his tail until we call him. People think that I have an incredibly well-trained dog, but I didn’t do anything…he is just really mellow. I wish that I knew some background so I could figure out why he has the traits that he has…I’m thinking that he was left alone all of the time when he was a pup, so to him, it isn’t a big deal to be by himself. Any ideas?
I have two retired greyhounds who act the same way. A friend of my mom’s came to our house one day, and walked right in as the front door was unlocked since my dad was doing some yard work. She said Stetson (the boy) just lifted his head when she came in, then went right back to sleep! Some guard dogs. haha
But they usually won’t come when we enter the house until they are called, and only excitedly at that! I can’t say it’s really a bad thing.
That’s how Ace is too
When I come home I have to call him to me, and then he slowly walks over to me wagging, like “Well, OK …”
You know, that’s how Ace is too when we come home. He doesn’t even get up! He just lies on his bed (usually with his back to us), and thumps his tail without even lifting his head.
I notice that Buddy is incredibly comfortable and relaxed when he comes to visit. When he stayed with us for a few nights and I left the dogs home for a bit, he didn’t care at all. Most dogs are nervous about being left in a new environment. I bet Buddy was left home a lot as a pup like you suggested. He’s also just so naturally laid back, I guess it takes a lot to get Bud worked up!
All great tips – thanks. I am currently dealing with a rescue GSP with separation anxiety. His breed is prone to the “velcro dog” syndrome anyway, and being a rescue from a neglect situation only compounded this, I am sure. I’ve been trying a lot of different techniques, but I realize I need to be more consistent with ALL of them. One thing that other trainers have recommended to me, and which is worth mentioning here, is that some dogs, especially high energy, intelligent breeds like GSPs, can be properly exercised, but still need a lot of MENTAL exercise. I could run my guy all day and he would never truly get tired. But if I play nose games with him for an hour he seems to sack out. Now if I could find the time to do that in the morning before I leave, we might get somewhere! Thanks again!
Great point, Miranda! All dogs need some physical and some mental exercise, especially the more intelligent, active breeds. And tons of exercise on its own will not cure separation anxiety. If so, then the dog didn’t have separation anxiety to begin with, he was just under exercised. I know you are very aware of the differences, but not all dog owners are.
Another tip I just thought of is to be careful not to feel too sorry for the dog. Easier said than done, I know but feeling guilty for leaving the dog will not help the dog. They read our body language so much and the dog needs to learn that being left alone is a normal and acceptable part of the routine.
Thanks for the tips and good luck helping your rescue dog!
So, Gustav’s daycare told me the other day that he was actually PLAYING with the other dogs instead of just napping or wagging his tail and sniffing. They had to double-check to make sure it was actually him! Hahahaha!
Awww, that’s so cute! I didn’t know he usually doesn’t play with the other dogs. Does he just look for food instead? Ha!
Ace has gotten better at playing with other dogs since we’ve had so many dogs stay with us in the last year and a half. He used to just ignore them and obsess over his tennis ball.
[...] out an editorial on Separation Anxiety and Dogs posted earlier this month on THAT MUTT> Posted by Blue Dog at 12:49 PM Tagged with: separation anxiety and [...]
Molly, the blue heeler/german shepherd mix, was almost the end of my friend Melissa due to separation anxiety! I remember days when Melissa would call me bawling because she didn’t know what else to do with Molly:) She discovered many interactive dog toys, including treat balls/cubes and dog-puzzles that would keep Molly occupied for HOURS while she was gone! It definitely was time-consuming though; it took a good three months for Molly to be able to be left alone and trusted in the house:) And the ignoring was the hardest! Great tips!
I’m glad she was able to help Molly through her separation anxiety. Puzzle games and different interactive toys are a great way to keep dogs occupied. I should definitely have more of those handy.
Good post. Separation Anxiety in dogs is very similar to children’s as well. It is the emotional need and attachment that causes these behaviors. I tend to agree with that there is no easy solution but, there are several very effective training methods.
Steve @ Bark-In-Style.com
Dog Training Tips for Dog Lovers
I am in desperate need of help. I have a 5 yr old female German Shepherd & it is no doubt that she has separation anxiety. She has all the signs: panting, licking her paws, using the bathroom in the basement, clawing at the doors, broke her teeth & bloodied her paws to break out of her crate (in which she succeeded & destroyed the crate), breaking & moving things around the room, refusing to eat/drink while we are gone, following me from room to room & leaning against me. We used to keep her outside when we were gone until she started running through the invisible fence & then jumping our wood fence. The next option we tried was taking her to doggie daycare but after a couple weeks they told us that she was jumping their 6 foot fence so they were keeping her confined. Since she was crate trained since she was a puppy & seemed to have no problem with staying her crate in the past, I decided I would put her in her crate during the day (my husband & I both work outside the home)instead of paying someone else to do it. For whatever reason, she started trying to break out of it. I would come home at lunch everyday hoping she hadn’t hurt herself. Once she put about an inch & half gash on her brow, broke some of her teeth, broke several nails to get out, I knew the crate was no longer an option. We had a nice finished basement, in which we had to pull up the carpet because she would use the bathroom on it. Now she just uses the bathroom on the concrete floor even though I let her out before I leave for work, at lunch, when I get home & another time before bed. I know she can hold it as she does for at least 8-10 hours every night. The vet prescribed her the doggie Prozac but I do not see much of an improvement & will probably take her off of it. I take her for a walk in the morning & evening. I have tried putting up a gate/shutting the door when I go into a different room, leaving for a few minutes at a time so she would get used to it. At this point, I find it better to keep her on a schedule so she knows what to expect. I don’t make a big deal out of coming or going & don’t punish/yell at her for her behavior as it makes no sense to do it after the fact & she doesn’t do these things when we are there. I have contacted dog trainers in the area but it seems they only offer command training. The dog is very intelligent & knows several “tricks”. Any behavioral trainers live out of my area (a couple hours away since I live in a relatively small town). Unfortunately due to a job change, I cannot afford to pay for behavioral training at this time anyway. So right now, she is in my basement with next to nothing in the room, probably using the bathroom on the floor, jumping at the sound of any large trucks & scratching at the doors. At lunch, I will go home to let her out, clean up with some non-ammonia cleaner only to come home from work to do the same thing all over again. I hate knowing she is so stressed out that she is compelled to do these things. She is destroying our home & my husband is livid. She is a great dog when we are there, my daughter is attached to her as am I so I don’t want to get rid of her (as most people will probably think is the only option). This has been going on for at least 2 years. We have not moved, work 8-5 as we have for years so there are no significant changes that have occurred. There has to be some other options to relieve our dog’s anxiety so someone please tell me what I can do.
I’m glad to hear you are being so patient with your dog and willing to keep her despite her issues. I also know how stressful and frustrating this problem is. Unfortunately there is no easy answer and I do not have much advice other than what I’ve listed above in the post.
If there’s any chance she might use interactive toys while you are gone, I would get a bunch of them and fill them with her absolute favorite goodies. Try peanut butter or even EZ cheese. I am assuming though, that she is so panicked when you leave that she won’t even look at toys?
You do need to stick to a routine with her as I know you are doing. Is there anyway you could take two weeks off of work and really work with her on conditioning to be left alone for short periods?
I know you live in a small town, but I also suggest looking for another dog daycare. Perhaps there is one with a different environment that would work for her, one that is indoors with no fences, for example. I also recommend looking for a dog walker who could come take her out for LONG walks during the day, like 2 hour walks even though you come home during lunch. Again, I know your options are limited because of where you live. Perhaps you could put out a Craigslist or newspaper classified ad to find someone willing to come walk her during the day.
Look for ways to give her mental and physical exercise. German shepherds are one of the most intelligent and high-energy breeds as you know. It’s safe to assume she is getting nowhere near the exercise she needs. Try biking with her for a good six miles twice a day. Or try rollerblading with her. Get a dog backpack for her and make her wear it during walks so she has a job to do. She absolutely must have a job.
You may even want to consider adopting a second dog to keep her company during the day. You will want to be VERY careful about the dog you choose and find one that is very calm and comfortable when left alone so your current dog does not influence the new dog. It’s usually a mistake to adopt a second dog if you are having behavior issues with your current dog, but in this case it is something to at least think about. She may feel a little more comfortable if she has another dog with her.
I will send out this post over Facebook and Twitter again to see if I get any additional feedback from anyone and will let you know if I come across any additional suggestions.
Wow, yeah – I would say that try another daycare. My Gus get pretty bad separation anxiety but I found an awesome daycare for him. I feel very lucky! He loves the people there and they spoil him and even give him a bit of special treatment.
I also agree – mental and physical exercise!
Good luck!
Kimberlee, see some additional comments on my Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/ThatMutt
Here is some good advice from Heather:
“Kimberlee’s problems are almost like reading our own story although her situation is a little more extreme! A crate was the only way to go for us. It helped keeping it in a common area where everyone hangs out, feeding her in it, giving her toys (initially giving new toys often) & treats and keeping the door open while your sitting close by to encourage her to use it and see it as a safe & happy place. Buying one oversized is good so they aren’t cramped. (initially leaving her in a room alone only lead to complete destruction)
We also had to take some time off initially to do “24 hour surveillance”. Can also try leaving a worn shirt/sweatshirt with her during the day.
Having 2 dogs has definitely helped them both but you really need to find just the right personalities to make it work or you’ll have a bigger problem on your hands. btw…99% of the anxiety issues you listed we dealt with or deal with currently, I guess we’re more patient than I thought or really wanted our marriage tested???? HA! My final advice….an extreme amount of Patience & routine/consistency & TLC”
I appreciate all the feedback. I do leave a kong filled with peanut butter & some other toys while we are gone. Once the peanut butter is gone, I hear her start pacing again & trying to move things around (while we are home I occasionally put her in the place she stays during the day in hopes she wouldn’t only associate it with us leaving).
Unfortunately, another daycare is not an option as that was the only one in town & has since closed. I can’t take off work since I have only been in my job a short time & do not have the vacation time. We really don’t have the money in our budget to pay for a dog walker & I am a little hesitant having someone I don’t know come take her for walks because they would have to come in the house to get her.
I am going to try giving her a old, recently worn T-shirt to see if that will help. There is a good chance it will be ripped to shreds by the time I come home for lunch though. I definitely will purchase a backpack for our walks. She does need more exercise. It would take a while to get her used to walking beside a bicycle. I am a little afraid she will pull or get in front of the wheel. At this point I am willing to try anything. Thanks again to everyone for the suggestions & I will check back frequently to see if there are any other pointers.
I wish you the best of luck. If you haven’t already, out the Kong toy filled with peanut butter in the freezer for a few hours and then give it to her – lasts longer that way. And leave several interactive toys like that out for her.
Kimberly-
I feel for you because I’m going through the EXACT same thing, except my dog is a Yorkie and does far less damage than a GSD!
Dash is the classic “velcro” dog – I can’t even give him affection because it winds him up so much. Dash did everything your dog did (the crate especially made it worse). My neighbors complained so much my landlord was going to evict me, so my dog is now staying with my parents out in the suburbs. Where, by the way, he has no separation anxiety. So the problem clearly lies with me!
A few things made it a little better: I got the anxiety wrap (anxietywrap.com) and that eased his anxiety quite a bit, but didn’t cure it. I also got Through a Dog’s Ear music CD. I stopped letting him come into the bathroom with me and my bedroom when I got dressed. I got him his own bed and he’s not allowed to sleep with me (or anyone else) anymore. He’s not allowed to follow me around the house anymore, either. Those few things have made a big difference, believe it or not. He was already getting massive amounts of exercise, so I didn’t need to improve on that.
There is also a book by Patricia McConnell on separation anxiety – check for it on Amazon.com. It tells you step by step how to handle this problem. I found it very helpful.
BTW, Dash was ultimately put on Clomicalm. We had tried xanax and valium, neither of which had any effect. The Clomicalm definitley took an edge off and seemed to make it easier for him to LEARN new behaviors (like not following me around). But it didn’t solve it. He’s no longer on the medication, I was worried about long term effects.
Thank you for those suggestions about the anxietywrap and the Dog’s Ear music CD. I’m glad you understand the importance of not allowing the dog to follow you everywhere you go. I can’t stress enough how important that is, and most people seem to make the problem even worse by allowing the dog to do this and rewarding the dog for the behavior by coddling it. I wasn’t aware of Patricia McConnell’s book. I’m sure it’s very helpful!
Glad you took your dog off the medication. I can see why it would be an option, but not for long term. Thanks for your comment.
Yeah, I was really torn about putting him on the meds, especially the xanax and valium. I just was at my wits end – and I had tried a lot of homeopathic remedies (over a course of about 4 months) first and they just didn’t help enough. Medication should definitelyl be a last resort. I worry about the effects…
I totally understand. With my foster dog, I was at the point where he either had to go somewhere else or I would’ve had to try some medication. He ended up going to a new foster home and then was adopted fairly quickly so it worked out for him. Sometimes you really have to choose between medication or giving up the dog. Hopefully most people will look at the medication as a temporary aid rather than a permanent solution. It should be used in addition to working with the dog on getting used to being alone.
Hey Guys,
I am having a huge problem with my Jindo mix. He is a fantastic dog, until he is home alone. He was fine until my boyfriend and I split up and my boyfriend was no longer at the apt all the time. Then everything thing got bad. First he tore the door jamb off of the front door. About a week later he actually clawed a good size hole in my wall. I took him to a trainer who said that crating him would be best. Now, he is already crate trained and will go in his crate on command with no problem…as long as I’m there. But when I leave he freaks out. He barks and cries and tries to tear his crate apart. I have started him on a drug my vet gave me for him and I hope it will make a difference but is there anything I can do in the mean time? I do walk him right before I leave for about 3 miles (about all I can walk lol) with a doggy back pack. I just want him to stop hurting him self and stop tearing up my apartment. I left a video camera on and its so hard to watch, he is really freaking out. I am just at a loss as to what to do. I know he can be a good dog when home alone so Im not ready to give up on him yet. Is this something that will stop when he’s gotten used to my boyfriend not being around or what?
Please help!
Thanks
Well, the main thing is a lot of patience. I totally understand what you are going through. I went through this with many foster dogs and I did have to find other arrangements for the dogs because of my apartment setting. I am going through this with a foster dog right now as well, just a much milder case.
Definitely use all the suggestions from the post and in the comments. Stick to a consistent routine, put one of your recently worn T-shirt in the kennel with him, stock it full of tempting goodies. Be very consistent and know that it does take some time, possibly a few months, but it should get better. I would definitely keep him in the crate. Although he is destructive to the crate, that is better than destroying walls and doors. You may have to replace the crate a few times and try different kinds.
Although increased exercise will not solve the problem because of his crazy state of mind, it should lesson the anxiety some if you can at least double his daily miles to six. You could also consider hiring a dog walker to come every day to break up the time alone for him and to give him more exercise. You could also consider dog daycare.
I wish there was an easier solution. Separation anxiety is a big problem. There are many other people and dogs going through this, so you are not alone.
I cant put anything in the crate, he just tears up any cloth or bedding and treats he just ignores. I have bad knees so a 6 mile walk is really out of the questions, 3 makes them sore and I still have to work after said walk.
Doggie day care is kind of out, I am a student and am broke…any money that could have gone to doggy day care is now going to fix the hole in my wall. Plus I leave and come home really late, so I wouldnt be able to pick him up till the Am unless they are they at 10 at night lol.
Any tips on finding a dog walker? Its hard because they would have to come into my apartment and have access to everything, how do you find someone trust worthy??
Thanks
Check to see if there are any professional dog walkers in your area. If you can’t find any through a Google search, then search on Craigslist. If you still can’t find one, then consider hiring a college student. No matter who you hire, check references.
Hi, I have just brought my 7 week old jack russell puppy, There mum abandoned them at 4 weeks so for the last 3 weeks they have been having puppy food and water so all weened. He will be going for his jabs this weekend but i think he is lonely, He has a crate which he does go in but he cries so much at night i dont know what to do. I am now going to have to go to work and leave him, what should i do to stop him crying?
With a young puppy like that, the absolute most important thing to do is completely ignore the barking/crying. He may bark for an entire night straight, but if you only give him attention when he’s quiet, he should catch on quickly that to get out of the kennel he has to be quiet. Practice leaving him and if he is quiet for even two seconds, go back to him and let him out of the crate. If he cries and paws at the kennel, wait until he’s quiet before you go back to him.
Hello!
I just adopted a chihuahua puppy, Aquinas, from the humane society who spent his first three months of life (he’s four months old now) at a puppy mill. He is super sweet and is very quiet when we’re with him, but as soon as we put him in a kennel or the bathroom, he flips out shrieking (and even chewing the bottom of the bathroom door). We live in an apartment and I’m very worried the neighbors will complain.
Your article has given me a lot of good information! I’m excited to use these techniques to teach him how to be well behaved and secure while my husband and I are gone.
My husband is a big softie and can’t stand it when the puppy cries. We tried crating Aquinas yesterday. My plan was to put him in there for about an hour. In five minutes my husband was letting him out. We made a compromise and my husband left so he didn’t have to deal with it. It took 20 minutes, but as soon as the puppy was quiet for about 20 seconds, I let him out and he seemed just fine. He even had fun exploring the crate later when there was no threat of leaving him there.
Will he still learn if I let him out soon after he stops barking? Is it ok if I leave him in the kennel for a quick errand even though he’s still in the beginning stages of being trained?
Thank you so much for your help!
I would always make a point to let him out when he’s not barking, whether he’s been quiet for 30 seconds or 30 minutes. Right now, celebrate the small successes. It might take a long time to train him, but if you are consistent, it will pay off in the end – trust me! You are doing the right thing by kennel training him. This will keep him safe and will protect your property. Hopefully he’ll start to feel safe and secure in his kennel if you never use it as a punishment. Always feed him in there and always completely ignore the crying, and you should see some improvements.
As for leaving him when you do errands, I think that’s a good idea. Keep the errands as short as possible. But it’s not like you can be home all the time. I’m assuming you have a job or school.
Interesting article. I’ve been struggling with separation anxiety in my own dog. Our home was anything but a happy place to be in. Luckily my beloved Labrador is now cured and a lot of the techniques we used are mentioned in this article.
Great stuff!
My dog is a shelter dog I got him when he was six mounths old. I started him in a crate it worked great to the point where he did not need it any more 6 years later and he has lost his mind. he has jumped out of every window screen he can and jumped out a glass window. I put him back in a crate and it is not working. i renforced the crate and all he did was broke the metal bars so bad he got out I dont know what to do. we love are dog and so do my kids. I dont want to give up but I have tried almost all the things that you have said is there a good crate that is not overly priced he is just a bird dog mix what should I do I need help. He has got out a total of 3 times already
Have you spoken with a trainer in your area? This is very serious if your dog is getting out. I suggest finding some professional help. There are some “indestructible” kennels out there, but they are expensive. I’d look into one if you can swing it. Could you take him to dog daycare? Also, look into a product called the Thundershirt. Who knows, it might help calm him even a little bit, which could make a difference. I assume you’re using Kong toys to keep him occupied and that is not helping? Have you had a change in your lifestyle that has caused him some major stress? Poor guy, and poor you! I hope you can figure something out.
I have had a bullmastiff for just over a week she has just turned one. She has been in Kennels for two months and thus wees and poos in her bedroom that i have a child gate on and also a crate in big enough for her. I have two springers who ar e9 and 7 who share the room with her for four hours whilst i am at work in the morning and then i come home at lunch for 20 minutes to let them out then i go back to work foa further four hours. I am going to put her in the crate tomorrow and see how she settles, she does go to the toilet in the garden when i am home so it must be some sort of sepeartaion thing. thanks for your advice and all future advice greatly appreciated. Steve
Definitely try the crate and see how that goes. I’m sure you are keeping her on an consistent feeding schedule? If you feed her and then walk her right afterwards, she should eliminate outside on the walk. But I’m sure you’re experienced enough with dogs to have that figured out!
It’s probably a separation thing. But it’s also very possible that while she lived at the kennel/shelter she got in the habit of going to the bathroom right in the dog run she stayed in. The unfortunate truth is that dogs don’t get outside as often as they should at these places due to limited staff and limited hours where staff is working. Hopefully by putting her in a crate, you will be able to take care of this problem. Your other dogs might be happier with her in the crate for now, too!
Good luck!
I have a yorkie she is 7 years old.about 9months ago she started whinning and crying when im gone nothing has changed she gets out alot walking playing the vet said shes in good health i have tried everything i can toys dog sitters they say she crys still but as soon as im there shes fine what else can i do
Do you have a kennel for her? I would get her used to one if you don’t. That can be her place to relax and feel safe. If you are not in an apartment, then you don’t have to worry so much about the crying. It will stop eventually if she realizes crying does not get her what she wants. If you are in an apartment or if your neighbors can hear her, then you have a larger issue. I’m sure you’ve tried giving her Kong toys filled with peanut butter? If not, try that. Make sure to ignore her when you come back. You don’t want her to feel like it is a reward when you come home. You want her to associate rewards with you leaving. So give her the best treats, toys and goodies when you leave. Ignore her when you come home. And don’t act nervous or sad or guilty when you leave or she will pick up on that. Don’t feel bad for leaving her or she will feel bad and cry. Instead, think about what a lucky, spoiled little dog she is and how she has a nice, safe place to stay at when you leave. If you feel confident and happy when you leave, then it will help her feel OK being left behind. They really do pick up on our emotions.
My dog has had separation anxiety since I got him (about 5 years ago). I’ve moved a few times since then, due to school and work, and at each location he’s had different issues. He’s shredded curtains, jumped out a screened window (and then a screened sunroom), pooped on the floor…pretty much you name it, he’s done it (except for chewing shoes and furniture, thank god).
At my most recent apartment, he would scratch the door after we left and drooled a small lake in front of it.
I’ve tried crate training him–using the methods you mentioned in your post–but he has never taken to it like the dogs who *love* their crates. He has broken out of every crate I’ve used–now up to about 3 different ones. The only method I’ve been able to come up with is to use a bike lock on the door, which he hasn’t been able to break out of. My neighbors have said that while I’m gone and he’s in the crate, he cries so much that it sounds like someone is torturing him (this also varies–sometimes they say he was silent and other times he’s crying for hours). He’s just getting to the point where I can come home and there won’t be drool all over the bottom of the crate, but like the crying, that is hit or miss. I’ve tried to leave pb kongs with him, and special treats he only gets when I’m gone, but he ignores those completely and if he’s not in the crate he will instead have picnics with the garbage or whatever other people food is in his reach (we have figured out how to dog-proof the house from this by keeping this stuff out of his reach and locking the garbage in the bathroom).
I just purchased a thundershirt after reading about it on this thread, and I hope that works to help calm him down. I’m hoping I can get him to drop some of this behavior by adding more exercise and the thundershirt. I’ve tried so many different things, from super amounts of exercise, to vet-prescribed drugs…I refuse to give him up because he is such a good dog when I’m around, and after 5 years saying I’m pretty attached is an understatement. It’s just hard to know that he drives everyone else crazy when I’m trying SO hard to make it better!
I’ve had ha few foster dogs that were a lot like your dog with separation anxiety. It’s so, so hard to deal with. Could you take him to dog daycare during the workweek just to cut back on some of his (and your) stress and to give your neighbors a break?
I do think you should keep leaving him in the crate for his own safety, as you are doing.
This is going to sound crazy, but the better your attitude is, the more it will help your dog calm down (even slightly) when you leave. I’m sure you are anxious when you leave him, thinking about his safety and stress and the damage he will cause. I know the Thundershirt is not going to solve your problem, but in addition to many other techniques it could help a bit.
Also, I’m assuming he goes into a panic the second you try to put him in the crate? If you make it your goal to get him to enter the crate in a calm state of mind, you could eventually build on that. If he’s freaking out and throwing himself against the door and fighting you as you walk him into the crate, he’s going to remain in that panicked state of mind. But if you can practice over and over again putting him in the crate, rewarding him and walking him right back out, you might make a small amount of progress to build on. From there, you could practice shutting the door. From there, you could practice shutting the door and turning your back. Then practice leaving the room for one second. This is going to take a ridiculous amount of time and patience and it may seem like you are getting nowhere, but that is what I would try if I were you.
And one more thing, do you think he would feel better if you had another dog stay home with him? Do you have any friends or family members with calm dogs who could stay home with him in a crate next to him for a day just to see if that helps? Then maybe you would want to consider adopting a second dog, and only the perfect dog for this situation. Chances are, he’s so anxious that another dog won’t help. But it might be something to think about.
Thanks for your comment and good luck. Let me know if you come across anything that helps.
Yeah, we live with another dog now and they do well together, but the complex I’m moving into has a 1-dog policy. We are looking to buy a house around this time next year, and a second dog is definitely in the question then.
Doggie daycare would be an option maybe once a week, but he doesn’t always play nice with other dogs; he always wants to be the most dominant one which can lead to tiffs etc. He does well with dogs he knows, so he plays with my brother’s dog fairly often.
I went and got a backpack today for him too, to try and really exhaust him mentally during walks and WOW!! what a difference!!
Hopefully I’ll be able to find a good combination to help fix his issues. He’s such a good boy otherwise!
Best of luck!
I have tried just about everything to get my 6 month old puppy to stop crying when I leave. He has cried since the day I brought him home just over 4 months ago. He has had periods of time that were more calm when left alone but each time he wasn’t truly alone (being with my mom’s dogs) Two days I moved into an apartment. I have already had two people mention to me that he has been crying all day (I knew this was happening, but not at that length.) My hope was that he calmed down after awhile. I know he is just getting used to his new environment but that is a hard thing to explain to the neighbors.
The routine has been the same since day 1. For the past month and a half I give him a Kong filled with peanut butter (although never frozen, must try that). He is calm for a second, eats the peanut butter and then screams. It isn’t just a cry or a wimper. It is a full blown scream. I live on the 3rd floor and I could hear him down at my car.
We have been going to the dog park and did again today at lunch time. He walked, ran and played for a long time. He even laid down after only the first flight of stairs. I thought he was worn out enough that this afternoon would be better. He was crying by the time I got down to my car…
It makes me sad that he cries all day. It can not be a good experience for him. I would never think of giving him away but I also do not want to face eviction or angry, bitter neighbors.
Any other suggestions to get poor little Oliver to calm down? I have considered getting him a brother or sister. But then what happens if I have 2 screaming dogs. I just feel lost..
Forgot to add..He does not cry when I am home. Otherwise a pretty good dog. Will occassionally bark at other dogs when outside but after a few seconds is calm and could care less there are other people/dogs around. Has done one session of puppy school. Does tend to stay pretty close to me during the day/when I am home.
When he was a puppy he would go to the bathroom in his kennel. I thought it was because he truly couldn’t hold it. Then for a long time he stopped going in his kennel. Since we moved in to the new place I have had to clean his bed both at lunch time when I go to let him outside and then when I get home at the end of the day…
My wife and I bought a 6 month old weimaraner from a breeder who was home all day and the dog was never in a cage or on a leash. I work shift work and my wife works regular day shift monday through friday so there are days where he has to go in his cage. he had a hard time with it at first. he still barks for a little while when we leave and when i return his bed in his cage is flipped over and drool everywhere. recently i returned home and later noticed scratches on the top of his head as if he was rubbing his head against the cage because he was so nervous. any tips?
Lots of time and patience. Do all you can to make the kennel a good experience. Give him Kong toys filled with peanut butter and frozen overnight. Use two or three of these and also put his favorite treats in there. Try to put him in the crate when he’s in a calm state of mind so he has an easier time remaining calm. You could also try buying him one of those Thundershirts which are designed to “swaddle” the dog and help them feel calmer. This won’t help the problem on its own but might help slightly in addition to everything else.
Give him lots of exercise before and after work, like an hour of running twice a day. I know how active Weimeraners are.
Only let him out if he is quiet. Stick to a routine so life is predictable and he can relax a bit.
You could turn a fan on in the room facing him to help him cool down and relax and also drown out some noise. Also some talk radio or TV.
Put him in the kennel for a few minutes here and there when you are home so he doesn’t associate the kennel with you leaving. Also put him in his kennel while you are in the room with him. Just teach him that the kennel is no big deal.
You could even practice some obedience commands where he has to sit or lie down in his crate with the crate door open and then he gets a treat while staying. Then release him and repeat. Make it fun. If he loves treats, you can even give him a command “kennel” and then give him a treat for going in his kennel. Then let him come right back out. Then slowly increase the time he is in the kennel before he gets the treat. Two seconds. Three seconds. 10 seconds. 30 seconds and so on. As long as he waits quietly for the pre-determined amount of time, he gets a treat.
Start with small expectations and build from there.
sounds good thanks
thank you so much for your help i an going to try all of this. My dog is not a foster dog and has never acted like this until we move to Melbourne from Queensland. She whines even after being walked and just wont stop. Our neighbors were so mean we had to move home. Do you think its a good idea maybe to get another dog to keep her company? Iv just run out of ideas, and its killing me that i can not help her.
You know, I’ve heard some people who have had success getting another dog. The problem is, it has to be the right dog or you will just end up with two problem dogs. You’d have to find one that is very, very calm and laid back and stable, and it’s hard to find a dog like that.
I’m sure you’ve tried everything I could recommend – lots of goodies in Kong-type toys, lots of exercise, sticking to a routine, etc. You could try the Thundershirt, too.
And I would also suggest to make sure you are not feeling anxious or guilty yourself when you leave her. This is something I am becoming more aware of. If I feel guilty for leaving my dog in his crate, he is likely to yip. If I think to myself, “He is one lucky dog to have a nice, climate-controlled room and a soft bed and treats,” then I do not feel one bit guilty and my dog will calmly chew on his bone or take a nap. It makes a huge difference.
How do you handle a dog that is destructive in the crate when the door is closed? My newly adopted rat terrier is fine in the crate when the door is open but once it shuts he freaks out.
I would help him learn that nothing bad happens when you close the door by tossing him a favorite treat (something like hotdogs or real chicken) and closing the door for a second and opening it right away. Do that like 20 times in a day for a few days. Then slowly increase the amount of time the door is shut. Two seconds. Five seconds. Always keep it positive with the best treats.
I have a little different problem with my almost 5 yr old Bichon Frise. This is our first dog and I got her after I retired, so I am home most of the time with her. She definitely has separation anxiety when I leave the house, even if my husband is home. She is sad the whole time I’m gone, he says and tries to engage her, but she goes right back to the door and waits for my return. She usually will not eat when I am gone, unless I’m gone for extended lengths of time. When I return she whines, barks, and jumps and acts like she is mad at me and even acts like she would like to nip at me, but doesn’t. And I have done all the wrong things I see, I always have tried to console her and I let her follow me from room to room all day long…I didn’t realize this was abnormal behavior! I guess my main question is, can I retrain her and change this cycle after allowing it for so long? It seems cruel for me to not let her stay in the same room with me if I’m going to be in that room for a while, she has a bed in my office and in the kitchen/living room, and she sleeps with us on the bed, which I would like to change that because her wanting to be closer seems to be getting worse. Thanks so much for your suggestions!
It is never too late to start helping a dog through separation issues. I would definitely stop allowing her to sleep in your bed, at least for a few months while you work on this problem. At least have her sleep on a dog bed next to your bed or in a kennel next to your bed. If you truly want to help her, then you can’t feel bad about it. I know it’s hard. You are helping her to build confidence by not allowing her to follow you around everywhere. You can let her in your office with you, but you don’t have to allow her in all the time. When you come home and she is jumping and crying or trying to nip, the best thing you can do is completely ignore her for a good five minutes. When she is relaxed, then give her some attention.
I too have a similar situation as all the previous ones. My boy, almost 2 now, has always been a big crier whenever I leave. Lately he has started the accidents in the house, as well as scratching paint off doors trying to get into other rooms (I keep him in his “space” while we’re gone, which is the living room). We have tried just about everything with him from citronella collars, natural herbal remedies, a ridiculous amount of exercise, timed leaving where we would leave for a couple minutes and come back, crate training (which he would end up hurting himself multiple times throughout), and now e-collars (which he has broken 3 of, I believe due to the frequency of use). NOTHING has seemed to work, and we have pissed off quite a few neighbors since we live in a rental. I’m at my wits end and just have no more ways to go, and the fact that I’m relocating overseas next year for grad school makes me terrified of the idea of rehoming him(definitely NOT something I want to do to him). Any suggestions of anything else to try? At this point I’ve even looked into debarking =/