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What to Do When One Dog is Jealous of the Other and Growls?

What do you do if one of your dogs growls at the others out of what appears to be jealousy?

I actually get this question about once a week. I’m writing this post so I have an article to share.

I’d also like this to be a place where people can ask questions or give advice.

The scenario is often like this:

You try to give affection to your small dog. She jumps onto your lap and you pet her. Then your big dog approaches and sticks her head on your lap for some attention too. This is when the small dog proceeds to bark and growl at the big dog.

It wouldn’t have to be small dog vs. big dog, but let’s face it – it often is! But it could also be two big dogs or two small dogs.

Maybe one dog tends to lie at the owner’s feet growling as the other dog approaches. Or maybe one is on the couch and growls as the other comes near.

See my post: How to stop a small dog from guarding me.

What to do when one dog is jealous of the other

So what’s happening here?

Well, it’s always good to consult with a professional trainer if your’e worried about aggression. Every situation is different, and it’s impossible to give advice on a specific dog’s behavior over email or in a general blog post.

But here’s my GENERAL feedback:

This type of growling or “guarding” makes sense. The dog is resource guarding and YOU are the resource.

If the dog doing the growling is generally the “weaker” of the two dogs, this may be the only time you ever see her growling or standing up for herself because she’s protecting her power source (YOU). You make her feel more powerful and she may even feel like you’re backing her up or protecting her.

And sadly, if one dog is very pushy or bossy, the only time your more sensitive or “weaker” dog might get attention at all is when she sits on your lap or on the couch next to you. So you bet she’s going to guard you in those situations, it’s the only real affection she gets!

People might describe this as “jealousy” but it’s generally resource guarding, which is normal dog behavior but something we generally don’t want to encourage. See: How to break a dog’s possessiveness.

So here’s what to do:

How to stop my dog from getting jealous and growing at my other dog

1. Remember, you get to decide who approaches you.

You are the person in charge, right? So, YOU decide which dog sits with you and you decide which dog gets your attention and when. Your dogs don’t get to decide, not when it’s resulting in aggression or guarding. So that’s my first tip. Be AWARE of who you’re giving attention to and make sure you really are the one making that decision!

2. Enforce a no dogs on the furniture rule for now.

Do this especially if being on the furniture is part of what’s triggering the guarding/jealousy. I have a cat (Beamer!) who likes to sit on my bed. When my dog so much as walks by the bed, Beamer swipes and hisses at the dog. He’s being a bully and possessive of the bed!

So what do I do?

I promptly remove the cat from the bed and put him on the floor. It changes his state of mind and energy instantly.

See my post: How to stop my dog from growling on the bed.

3. Don’t allow the dog to sit at your feet guarding you.

Once you actually think about this you might realize, wow, my dog really does sit and guard me at my feet! If you catch either dog doing this, shoo her away, tether her across the room or put her in a down/stay on her dog bed. Or, simply get up and move somewhere else so she can’t guard you.

I run into this problem with my foster dogs quite often. The foster dog will lie at my feet guarding me from my dog Ace and I don’t even realize it because Ace doesn’t protest. The poor guy just goes and lies down across the room! So be aware is all I’m saying. (2019 update: Ace has passed away.)

What to do if one dog is jealous of the other

4. Don’t allow your other dog to barge up and hog your attention.

Likewise, you shouldn’t allow your other dog to barge up and steal your attention away when you’re choosing to give affection to the first dog. Does that make sense? Don’t allow either dog to sit and guard you and don’t allow either dog to barge up when you choose to give affection to one or the other.

When a dog tries to barge in and hog the attention, block him with your body, tell him “no” or put him in a down/stay across the room.

5. Work on general obedience with both dogs.

Obviously, you want to work on general training with both your dogs. Every dog should learn to lie down and stay on command for up to 20 minutes or more with no distractions. If your dogs can’t do that, then start with 15 seconds.

All dogs should learn to obey “sit” and “come” and to wait patiently before eating or walking through doors. I have all sorts of posts about how to train these behaviors. Just choose one or two goals to start with but do train your dogs. Well-trained dogs are more respectful of their owners and they have a higher level of self-control.

Need help with a specific training issue? Email me – Lindsay@ThatMutt.com.

6. Reward calm behavior from both dogs.

Try to remember to reward/praise calm behavior from both dogs. When you’re handing out treats, reward calm behavior not frantic behavior. When you’re greeting your dogs after work, give affection to the dog who’s not jumping. If you see one of your dogs lying quietly on her dog bed, go over and praise her.

And it goes without saying, but also make sure both dogs are getting plenty of exercise! In general, dogs in the U.S. do not get nearly enough exercise.

See my post: Tips for exercising a dog indoors.

So those are my general tips!

Let me know your own experiences or suggestions in the comments!

Related posts:

How to stop my small dog from guarding me

How to break a dog’s possessiveness

My dog growls at other dogs

What to do when your dogs don’t get along

Dog sleeping in your bed
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Sharon Talaga

Thursday 21st of February 2019

So sorry for your loss. I know it is so hard to lose them.

Lindsay Stordahl

Friday 22nd of February 2019

Thank you

Cheri Fellinger

Tuesday 28th of March 2017

Well you've got the picture for this article right! I have......ELEVEN, yes that's right, 11 Shibas and no breed can top the anthropomorphized "jealous" behavior of the Shiba. Who REALLY knows how a dog thinks and feels? As much as we humans scientifically study them, only another dog knows for sure. But your suggestions are excellent for overcoming the seemingly jealous behavior of pack dogs. The more dogs, the worse it gets. Mine do best in sub-packs. Just remember to respect their pack structure. Be a fair & worthy leader to your dogs, treating them equally. Spend quality time alone with each of them to teach them they are cherished as individuals.

Sandy Weinstein

Saturday 27th of August 2016

my girls are pretty well behaved even though they do get jealous, but they dont show any animosity towards one another. i have 3 gals. they get jealous when i am petting or hugging one and they other comes over and wants to join in. now with the oldest gal, the 2 younger girls try to take her treats from her, but i watch and say no or uh, uh and they stop and look at me because they know better. i do hug more on the older gal b/c she is almost 15 in abt 2-3 wks, she is deaf, almost blind and has a little dementia. however, they are never mean with one another. i dont know if i could take one dog being mean to another one of my kids. they are all my kids and i expect them to act nice to one another. when it oldest used to sleep in the bed with me, she had her spot and the younger girl always took it, Evie would just sit there and look at me til i moved the other gal out of her spot. she never growled or showed displeasure. the middle child will get possessive with her treats and food. but i have worked with her on that. i just make her wait to eat, tell her to sit and wait, same with the treats, work on drop it, and leave it.

Lindsay Pevny

Tuesday 16th of August 2016

I'm worried that my dogs could develop this problem, as they already get a little snippy with one another around chews or toys. I typically pet them at the same time if they're both near - what else do we have two hands for, lol! But when Cow forces her big head in the way when I'm trying to leash up Matilda, I just ask her to "wait" and give her attention when I'm free to.

Sarah at Lolathepitty.com

Monday 1st of February 2016

Great post - Rio is actually rather jealous, and while he won't growl they're constantly fighting for my attention :). I have had to work w/ him though on resource guarding and used many of these tips. Sharing!

Lindsay Stordahl

Monday 1st of February 2016

Aww! Those two!